This is a favorite story from Amazing
Grace for the Catholic Heart.
Grace for the Catholic Heart.
Billy Lutter tumbled to the wooden floor of his home.
His parents picked him up and tried again to help him walk. It was no use.
Doctors had been telling the Lutters to institutionalize five-year old Billy
for some time. This was 1939 and institutionalization was commonly advised for
children with physical and mental disabilities.
His parents picked him up and tried again to help him walk. It was no use.
Doctors had been telling the Lutters to institutionalize five-year old Billy
for some time. This was 1939 and institutionalization was commonly advised for
children with physical and mental disabilities.
Billy’s parents, a steelworker and a homemaker,
struggled with the decision to send Billy away. “This was back in the
Depression. Things were tough all around,”says Fred Lutter, Billy’s older
brother by two years. “I was a very tearful situation.” Their hearts
breaking, the Lutters drove Billy from their home outside of Chicago to a state
facility 200 miles away. They visited regularly for a year. But administrators,
worried that such meetings upset the residents, advised them to stop coming.
struggled with the decision to send Billy away. “This was back in the
Depression. Things were tough all around,”says Fred Lutter, Billy’s older
brother by two years. “I was a very tearful situation.” Their hearts
breaking, the Lutters drove Billy from their home outside of Chicago to a state
facility 200 miles away. They visited regularly for a year. But administrators,
worried that such meetings upset the residents, advised them to stop coming.
“My brother realized who his parents were. To be
left like that was very traumatic,” says Fred. “I felt very sad to see my
parents in such turmoil.”
left like that was very traumatic,” says Fred. “I felt very sad to see my
parents in such turmoil.”
The years rolled by. Billy’s siblings got married and
had their own children. Everybody thought
about Billy, but his name was not spoken. Billy’s parents grew old and, as they
aged, grew infirm. They had done what they thought was best for Billy, but his
absence had left a gaping, raw wound for the family.
had their own children. Everybody thought
about Billy, but his name was not spoken. Billy’s parents grew old and, as they
aged, grew infirm. They had done what they thought was best for Billy, but his
absence had left a gaping, raw wound for the family.
The Lutters’ sad story inadvertently took a happier
turn thirty-five years later. It began when Julie Hess signed up her six-year
old daughter Jenny, who had Down Syndrome, for a religious-education program
for the disabled. Sadly, Jenny never had
a chance to take a class. She died shortly afterward.
turn thirty-five years later. It began when Julie Hess signed up her six-year
old daughter Jenny, who had Down Syndrome, for a religious-education program
for the disabled. Sadly, Jenny never had
a chance to take a class. She died shortly afterward.
Mrs. Hess nevertheless went on to volunteer with the
program that she’d hoped her daughter might enjoy. By
1987, she had become a full-time employee of the Archdiocese of Chicago’s
Special Religious Education Division.
program that she’d hoped her daughter might enjoy. By
1987, she had become a full-time employee of the Archdiocese of Chicago’s
Special Religious Education Division.
One of Hess’s favorite students was an easygoing older
man with a white mustache and gray hair. His records labeled him mildly
retarded. He suffered from cerebral palsy and needed a walker to get around.
His hearing was bad, but he knew a bit of sign language.
man with a white mustache and gray hair. His records labeled him mildly
retarded. He suffered from cerebral palsy and needed a walker to get around.
His hearing was bad, but he knew a bit of sign language.
Despite his circumstances, Bill had a special spark.
Though he could only say a handful of words, he was a good communicator. And he
radiated cheerfulness. Bill was especially religious. He wore a cross around his neck and enjoyed
being in church. He took part
enthusiastically in the sacraments.
Though he could only say a handful of words, he was a good communicator. And he
radiated cheerfulness. Bill was especially religious. He wore a cross around his neck and enjoyed
being in church. He took part
enthusiastically in the sacraments.
“He’s very prayerful. He has a deep sense of the sacred,” says
Hess. “God is a present in his life, bringing him peace and a reason to
hope.”
Hess. “God is a present in his life, bringing him peace and a reason to
hope.”
Bill grew very animated when Julie Hess talked about
family. Hess determined to find at least
one family member but the group home told her that Bill had no family. Julie
Hess was determined. As the years passed, she took up Billy’s cause with
renewed passion. By now it was 1993. Finally, an administrator gave Hess a name
and phone number. The suburban number was for Kathy Dever, Bill’s sister.
family. Hess determined to find at least
one family member but the group home told her that Bill had no family. Julie
Hess was determined. As the years passed, she took up Billy’s cause with
renewed passion. By now it was 1993. Finally, an administrator gave Hess a name
and phone number. The suburban number was for Kathy Dever, Bill’s sister.
Only Fred was old enough to have memories of
Billy. His sisters, Kathy and Bonnie
knew next to nothing. “My brother
said he was a vegetable,” says Kathy, “and that it was best that we
didn’t see him.” You have to understand the times,” says Kathy. “People ask us, ‘How could your parents
give him up?’ There was no schooling like there is today. No way would they do the same thing
today. But things are different
today.”
Billy. His sisters, Kathy and Bonnie
knew next to nothing. “My brother
said he was a vegetable,” says Kathy, “and that it was best that we
didn’t see him.” You have to understand the times,” says Kathy. “People ask us, ‘How could your parents
give him up?’ There was no schooling like there is today. No way would they do the same thing
today. But things are different
today.”
As time went by Fred, thought more and more about
Billy. What was he like? Was it possible to bring him back to the
family? It was the fear of the unknown, not knowing what to expect that Fred
said kept him from initiating contact.
Billy. What was he like? Was it possible to bring him back to the
family? It was the fear of the unknown, not knowing what to expect that Fred
said kept him from initiating contact.
It was decided that Fred would meet with Billy first.
On the day of the meetings, Fred brought a photo of their mother. Bill studied
the photo. Hess realized the challenge, “Bill understands family, but how
do we get him to understand this is his mother?”
On the day of the meetings, Fred brought a photo of their mother. Bill studied
the photo. Hess realized the challenge, “Bill understands family, but how
do we get him to understand this is his mother?”
Hess put the photo on Bill’s chest and pointed at him.
“His face suddenly changed and lit up like a light bulb,” says
Hess. He nodded and got excited.”
“His face suddenly changed and lit up like a light bulb,” says
Hess. He nodded and got excited.”
The next challenge was to help Bill understand that
Fred was his brother. Hess put the photo
by Bill and signed “mother” and placed the photo by Fred and signed
“mother”. An amazed look
rushed over his face.
Fred was his brother. Hess put the photo
by Bill and signed “mother” and placed the photo by Fred and signed
“mother”. An amazed look
rushed over his face.
“Bud!” said Bill.
Fred nearly fell off the chair. “That’s what he
called me when he was little,” Fred said. That night, Fred called his
sister Kathy. “I just met my
brother,” Fred sobbed.
called me when he was little,” Fred said. That night, Fred called his
sister Kathy. “I just met my
brother,” Fred sobbed.
Bill’s sisters visited two weeks later and then it was
time for Bill to meet his mother. It happened on Mother’s Day in the church
basement where they embraced for the first time in 50 years.
time for Bill to meet his mother. It happened on Mother’s Day in the church
basement where they embraced for the first time in 50 years.
Until she died three years later, mother and son were
inseparable, at least emotionally.
“They saw each other, held hands and never let go, at least
figuratively,” says Hess. “She
was so happy when they were together.”
inseparable, at least emotionally.
“They saw each other, held hands and never let go, at least
figuratively,” says Hess. “She
was so happy when they were together.”
“Bill filled a big hole in her life,” says Fred.
“She felt so relieved to have her family back again.”
“She felt so relieved to have her family back again.”
Bill now spends his weekends and holidays with his
family. He has bonded with his
great-nephews and great-nieces.
family. He has bonded with his
great-nephews and great-nieces.
“He loves kids,” says Kathy.
Not long ago, Bill visited Fred in Florida, where the
elder brother has retired. Being near
the clouds on the plane ride stirred his religious feelings. “He pointed at the clouds and made the
sign of the cross,” Kathy says. “He thought we were up by
Jesus.”
elder brother has retired. Being near
the clouds on the plane ride stirred his religious feelings. “He pointed at the clouds and made the
sign of the cross,” Kathy says. “He thought we were up by
Jesus.”
The Lutter family has since moved Bill into a more
pleasant group home in a suburb closer to his sisters. “This has changed
his life entirely,” says Hess.
pleasant group home in a suburb closer to his sisters. “This has changed
his life entirely,” says Hess.
“He held on to the memories of his family for his
whole life, and now they’ve become real.”
whole life, and now they’ve become real.”
~~~~~~~~~
For more inspiration, check out Big Hearted: Inspiring Stories From Everyday Families. Follow Patti at Twitter and like her Facebook pages at Dear God Books, Big Hearted Families and Catholic News & Inspiration on Facebook. Sign up at the right column to receive articles in your inbox. God bless you!
For more inspiration, check out Big Hearted: Inspiring Stories From Everyday Families. Follow Patti at Twitter and like her Facebook pages at Dear God Books, Big Hearted Families and Catholic News & Inspiration on Facebook. Sign up at the right column to receive articles in your inbox. God bless you!
