
Celebrating divorce, or “uncoupling,” is the latest trend in parties. Divorce parties are also big business for party planners and novelty companies, even outdoing pet birthday parties. Yeah, it’s just that big.
I know there
are sometimes reasons one spouse must get away from the other, such as serious
safety concerns. But even then, for Catholics, marriage is sacramental and
forever. Annulments are given when it is determined the marriage was never
sacramental to begin with. So even when divorce
is advisable, a marriage is a marriage is a marriage “until death do we
part.”

Party Time?
Sacrament or not, our confused modern times are incorrectly seeing divorce as a reason to party. This is a bad idea. For one, they are expensive. I came across one article where an event planner claimed a woman paid $25,000 for her “freedom fest.” The party paraphernalia for divorced divas and newly un-chained bachelors is also stupid and also expensive.
Sacrament or not, our confused modern times are incorrectly seeing divorce as a reason to party. This is a bad idea. For one, they are expensive. I came across one article where an event planner claimed a woman paid $25,000 for her “freedom fest.” The party paraphernalia for divorced divas and newly un-chained bachelors is also stupid and also expensive.

Some of the divorcees are acting out of spite, often due to a cheating
spouse. The party is their way of spitting in the face of the cheater and
saying, “Who the hell needs you anyways!” One woman having such a revenge party, burned
her wedding dress on top of the grill. Foam targets with the cheater’s picture
are often used for target practice at parties.

Praying Instead of Partying
The popular divorce party themes are “spite” for women and “freedom” for men. This is a very different theme from what I’ve seen among divorced Catholic friends and acquaintances in my world. Among the eight or so that I know personally, the theme for the end of their marriages was God, prayer, and healing. They understood that marriage was a sacrament meant to last a lifetime. The end was painful and not their choice. Some spent many hours in front of the Blessed Sacrament and went to daily Mass, brining their pain to God. They not only prayed for healing but also for the spouse that hurt them because they know forgiveness, albeit not easy, is the goal.
In the case of one divorce, there was a large family involved and many years of hardship and mistrust. The wife felt she had to divorce her husband to protect herself in a number of ways. The husband ended up in prison for illegal business dealings. The wife struggled with forgiveness but she worked at it and prayed for her ex-husband. After the husband was released from prison around seven years ago, he moved to another state. He converted and repented, and began to live a humble life that revolves around the Church. Two years ago, they reunited. They are very happy together now—like newlyweds--and God is at the center of their relationship.
The popular divorce party themes are “spite” for women and “freedom” for men. This is a very different theme from what I’ve seen among divorced Catholic friends and acquaintances in my world. Among the eight or so that I know personally, the theme for the end of their marriages was God, prayer, and healing. They understood that marriage was a sacrament meant to last a lifetime. The end was painful and not their choice. Some spent many hours in front of the Blessed Sacrament and went to daily Mass, brining their pain to God. They not only prayed for healing but also for the spouse that hurt them because they know forgiveness, albeit not easy, is the goal.
In the case of one divorce, there was a large family involved and many years of hardship and mistrust. The wife felt she had to divorce her husband to protect herself in a number of ways. The husband ended up in prison for illegal business dealings. The wife struggled with forgiveness but she worked at it and prayed for her ex-husband. After the husband was released from prison around seven years ago, he moved to another state. He converted and repented, and began to live a humble life that revolves around the Church. Two years ago, they reunited. They are very happy together now—like newlyweds--and God is at the center of their relationship.
When I co-authored Amazing
Grace for Married Couples with Jeff Cavins and Matthew Pinto, all the couples
were headed for divorce, some had already separated and one actually did divorce. The “I don’t need you” attitude pervaded for these couples. But when prayer took hold, and God was
welcomed in, it changed everything. Seemingly hopeless relationships were born
again with a love deeper and stronger than in the beginning.
Even with prayer and forgiveness, not every broken relationship is
recoverable. But regardless of how things end, a prayerful recovery looks very
different from a divorce party and leads to a very different place.
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For more inspiration, check out Big Hearted: Inspiring Stories From Everyday Families uplifting stories on love and life. Children's books, Dear God, I Don't Get It and Dear God, You Can't Be Serious are fiction that present faith through fun and adventuresome stories.
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For more inspiration, check out Big Hearted: Inspiring Stories From Everyday Families uplifting stories on love and life. Children's books, Dear God, I Don't Get It and Dear God, You Can't Be Serious are fiction that present faith through fun and adventuresome stories.
Follow Patti at Twitter and like her Facebook pages at Dear God Books, Big Hearted Families and Catholic News & Inspiration on Facebook.
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