A mother looks into the
face of death after being stabbed by a blue marlin and experiences God for the
first time.
face of death after being stabbed by a blue marlin and experiences God for the
first time.
While deep
sea fishing in Panama waters there was a tug on Denise LeBlanc’s line. She had
joined a group of friends for a weeklong fishing excursion in Central
America. Each day they rotated into
different pairs and departed from the mother ship onto seven smaller boats.
sea fishing in Panama waters there was a tug on Denise LeBlanc’s line. She had
joined a group of friends for a weeklong fishing excursion in Central
America. Each day they rotated into
different pairs and departed from the mother ship onto seven smaller boats.
It had been
the end of a long, slow day for fishing. That’s when a blue marlin hooked the
line. Since Denise had caught one the day before, she handed the pole to her
friend’s husband Mike to reel in.
the end of a long, slow day for fishing. That’s when a blue marlin hooked the
line. Since Denise had caught one the day before, she handed the pole to her
friend’s husband Mike to reel in.
A fierce
fighter like the marlin usually takes a couple of hours to exhaust
fighter like the marlin usually takes a couple of hours to exhaust
enough to
reel in. It was late afternoon and the
boat’s captain wanted to get
reel in. It was late afternoon and the
boat’s captain wanted to get
back so he
put the boat in reverse, allowing slack in the line to reel in faster. They had the still-green fish to the boat
within about half an hour. The first
mate estimated it to be twelve feet long and approximately six hundred pounds.
put the boat in reverse, allowing slack in the line to reel in faster. They had the still-green fish to the boat
within about half an hour. The first
mate estimated it to be twelve feet long and approximately six hundred pounds.
As the first
mate leaned over to grab the lure, Denise could see the fish’s angry eyes glare
at her. Then, in a flash, the marlin
catapulted up out of the water and lunged right at her. The razor sharp bill gored through her right
arm, through her right breast and out of her side, literally skewering
her. The enraged creature violently
jerked Denise back and forth, lifting her body off the ground, as if trying to
flip her back into the water.
mate leaned over to grab the lure, Denise could see the fish’s angry eyes glare
at her. Then, in a flash, the marlin
catapulted up out of the water and lunged right at her. The razor sharp bill gored through her right
arm, through her right breast and out of her side, literally skewering
her. The enraged creature violently
jerked Denise back and forth, lifting her body off the ground, as if trying to
flip her back into the water.
Instinctively,
she put her free hand out and it made contact with a pole and braced
herself. The bill slid out and the fish
slipped back into the ocean. Denise felt
her life slipping away from her while Mike made a tourniquet and put pressure
on her chest and arm. The mate cut the line and the captain put the boat into
high gear. The captain headed to the nearest clinic, which was more than two
hours away on Coiba Island–a penal colony for men.
she put her free hand out and it made contact with a pole and braced
herself. The bill slid out and the fish
slipped back into the ocean. Denise felt
her life slipping away from her while Mike made a tourniquet and put pressure
on her chest and arm. The mate cut the line and the captain put the boat into
high gear. The captain headed to the nearest clinic, which was more than two
hours away on Coiba Island–a penal colony for men.
Immersed inpain, Denise expected to die. “This is it,” she thought, “I am
going to die, and there is no one to take care of Michelle.” Her oldest Jennifer was fifteen and
independent, but Denise imagined her younger daughter nine-year old, Michelle
would be lost without her.
“Damn
you, God,” she cried out. “You
know Michelle needs me! How dare you?
How could you do this to her!” In a
near-death situation, most people would beg for God’s mercy, but most people
had not lived Denise’s life. It seemed that after a life full of pain,
motherhood was her only real blessing.
you, God,” she cried out. “You
know Michelle needs me! How dare you?
How could you do this to her!” In a
near-death situation, most people would beg for God’s mercy, but most people
had not lived Denise’s life. It seemed that after a life full of pain,
motherhood was her only real blessing.
When she was
three years old, her first memory was of her mother being taken away in a
straight jacket and ended up in and out of mental institutions. Her father kept
his own apartment in another town where he worked, and only visited his wife
and eight kids on weekends. Eventually, she discovered that her dad was
involved in the Mafia. He divorced their
mother, and governesses and maids mostly raised the kids.
three years old, her first memory was of her mother being taken away in a
straight jacket and ended up in and out of mental institutions. Her father kept
his own apartment in another town where he worked, and only visited his wife
and eight kids on weekends. Eventually, she discovered that her dad was
involved in the Mafia. He divorced their
mother, and governesses and maids mostly raised the kids.
Since their
father was prone to fits of rage, the children pleaded for the release of their
mother. The nine of them then tried to survive in a three-bedroom house. Their
father often had girlfriends and rarely came by, so it was Denise’s mother who
did her best to try and provide for the family. Often she would call their
father or the local priest to beg for groceries.
father was prone to fits of rage, the children pleaded for the release of their
mother. The nine of them then tried to survive in a three-bedroom house. Their
father often had girlfriends and rarely came by, so it was Denise’s mother who
did her best to try and provide for the family. Often she would call their
father or the local priest to beg for groceries.
When Denise
was a young adult and her father survived a brain tumor, he had a conversion
and finally took an interest in his children. Within a few short years,
however, he died of lung cancer. Denise felt betrayed. “It took my whole
life to get this man to love me and now you’ve taken him away from me!” she
cried.
was a young adult and her father survived a brain tumor, he had a conversion
and finally took an interest in his children. Within a few short years,
however, he died of lung cancer. Denise felt betrayed. “It took my whole
life to get this man to love me and now you’ve taken him away from me!” she
cried.
Over the
next decade, Denise’s life became a series of failed attempts at
next decade, Denise’s life became a series of failed attempts at
love: two marriages, an abortion, miscarriage, and then
the devastating loss of her beloved sister Darlene from breast cancer at age
thirty-seven. It was the only sibling Denise felt close to. She sunk into depression
and turned to gambling. Denise became suicidal in spite of the fact that she
had two children whom she loved. “What kind of mother gambles away her
children’s electricity?” she
asked. But thinking of her daughters,
Denise realized she need to get help and do better for them.
the devastating loss of her beloved sister Darlene from breast cancer at age
thirty-seven. It was the only sibling Denise felt close to. She sunk into depression
and turned to gambling. Denise became suicidal in spite of the fact that she
had two children whom she loved. “What kind of mother gambles away her
children’s electricity?” she
asked. But thinking of her daughters,
Denise realized she need to get help and do better for them.
Counseling
and Gamblers’ Anonymous helped, but Denise could not complete the step that
required giving everything over to a Higher Power. She did not trust God to
take care of her. She got back on her
feet but had not included God in her recovery.
and Gamblers’ Anonymous helped, but Denise could not complete the step that
required giving everything over to a Higher Power. She did not trust God to
take care of her. She got back on her
feet but had not included God in her recovery.
So on the
boat, believing that death could soon take her from her daughters, Denise
cursed God. But as she cursed, an
indescribable feeling overcame her. “I
was completely enveloped in a love that was more intense and at the same time
gentler than anything I ever imagined,” Denise said. “My anger and fear evaporated, replaced with
a radiating sense of peace and trust in God.
I was in His hands. Whether I
lived or died, I trusted God fully.
Whatever happened, my daughters would be all right. I knew God loved us and He was with me.”
boat, believing that death could soon take her from her daughters, Denise
cursed God. But as she cursed, an
indescribable feeling overcame her. “I
was completely enveloped in a love that was more intense and at the same time
gentler than anything I ever imagined,” Denise said. “My anger and fear evaporated, replaced with
a radiating sense of peace and trust in God.
I was in His hands. Whether I
lived or died, I trusted God fully.
Whatever happened, my daughters would be all right. I knew God loved us and He was with me.”
Her
nightmare was far from over, but the powerful touch of God — although it
nightmare was far from over, but the powerful touch of God — although it
lasted but a moment — sustained her and would change her forever. There was still the two-hour boat
ride to the clinic on the penal colony where lesser-sentenced prisoners roamed freely
kept at bay by armed soldiers. Even returning to the states brought challenges
as Denise’s recovery remained at a standstill for many months. But from the
moment Denise felt the love of God everything changed and his peace sustained
her. “Once, it was only my motherhood that gave my life purpose and power,” she
said. “Now, God is at the helm.”
ride to the clinic on the penal colony where lesser-sentenced prisoners roamed freely
kept at bay by armed soldiers. Even returning to the states brought challenges
as Denise’s recovery remained at a standstill for many months. But from the
moment Denise felt the love of God everything changed and his peace sustained
her. “Once, it was only my motherhood that gave my life purpose and power,” she
said. “Now, God is at the helm.”
This is an excerpt from Denise’s
first-person account in the collection, Amazing Grace for Mothers where this dramatic story includes Denise’s harrowing and horrify trip to the penal colony and shocking medical discovery after her return home.
first-person account in the collection, Amazing Grace for Mothers where this dramatic story includes Denise’s harrowing and horrify trip to the penal colony and shocking medical discovery after her return home.
Patti Maguire Armstrong and her husband have ten children. She worked
in the fields of social work and public administration before staying home.
Patti is an award-winning writer, speaker and was managing editor and co-author
of Ascension Press’s Amazing Grace
Series. She has appeared on EWTN, and Catholic TV as well as
radio stations across the country. Her latest books, Big Hearted: Inspiring
Stories from Everyday Families, (Scepter Publishers) and children’s
book, Dear God I don’t get it (Liguori Publications) will be
released in Spring 2013.
in the fields of social work and public administration before staying home.
Patti is an award-winning writer, speaker and was managing editor and co-author
of Ascension Press’s Amazing Grace
Series. She has appeared on EWTN, and Catholic TV as well as
radio stations across the country. Her latest books, Big Hearted: Inspiring
Stories from Everyday Families, (Scepter Publishers) and children’s
book, Dear God I don’t get it (Liguori Publications) will be
released in Spring 2013.
Follow Patti on Twitter or Facebook at author page GPS Guide to Heaven and Earth Homeschool Heart and Big Hearted Families
